Tag Archives: Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

#99CentNovember

99centnovember

Milo James Fowler is hosting an event called #99CentNovember — it’ll be like Cyber Monday all month long 🙂 In the spirit of (American) Thanksgiving season myself and several of Milo’s other friends will be knocking the prices on one or more of our books down to $0.99. Check out the full list of participants and titles here.

For my part I will be discounting Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories):

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

“Hit-you-in-the-gut dark humour will have you howling.” –Vanessa Ricci-ThodeAuthor of The Dragon Whisperer

Although completely discordant on the surface, zombies and comedy complement one another immensely and have a long history of doing so. This collection of three funny zombie stories nods to that tradition and continues it.

Waste Not – The coming of zombies forces humankind back to the land, to a simple lifestyle where ‘Waste Not, Want Not’ becomes more than a motto, it becomes the key to survival. And revenge.

Feeders – The zombie apocalypse will affect more than just humans, explore the repercussions of walking dead through the eyes of a cat in this story guaranteed to make you smile.

…Oh My! – What if the Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t killed by Dorothy’s house? What if she couldn’t be, because she was a zombie. Dun dun dun!

Available now for less than a dollar at:

Amazon
Smashwords
Kobo
And also on Goodreads

2014 Goals. How’d I Do?

So this is it. The time of year where I look back at the goals I set for 2014 and find out how well I did at reaching them. What’s usually most interesting about this time for me is seeing how my priorities have shifted over the course of the year, the number of things which were really important to me at the beginning of 2014 which I was happy to back burner (which is totally a verb) but the end.

Also, I have a rule. I may explain failures, but not excuse them. Who wants to read a whole blog post of self-justifications and excuses? Not me LoL

So. 2014 goals. How’d I do?

bold = success

tl;dr — Overall, it was a pretty freaking awesome year 🙂

~*~

Health

  • No drinking pop. Period.
  • Lose 20 lbs
  • Lower blood pressure (bonus points if I get to reduce my medication)
  • Run 5k

Didn’t do so awesomely here. Or well at all, really. I’m still drinking a lot of pop (diet pop, for better or for worse) and my weight has remained steady. Much, much too high, Diet Dr Pepperbut steady. I *was* making (very slow) progress on that 5k run thing before plantar fasciitis reared its ugly head but once it did I was less than enthusiastic about actively stretching to relieve it or exercising in a way which didn’t aggravate it so… pretty sure that counts as an excuse, not an explanation. The only thing I did manage here was to lower my blood pressure. Alas, I did not get to reduce my medication in the process so no bonus points for me. *pout*

~*~

School

  • This degree is taking a ridonkulously long time. I need to finish another course toward completing it this year. Bonus points if I manage two, but it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that this is honestly more of a hobby than anything and it must not negatively effect my work.

I didn’t find the time to finish even one course toward this degree. In fact as of last month I became inactive in my program, which is kinda crappy but I felt like my writing and editing took off to such an extent that it would be a bad choice for me to prioritize school over them at this point in time. So what I’m saying is, I’m okay with having failed to meet this goal. I think it was the right decision.

~*~

 

Editing / Publishing

  • Complete Fae and promote the hell out of it.
  • Pursue other anthology ideas
    • I am really, really, really enjoying editing anthologies right now and I’d like to have at least one more under contract with a publisher by the end of 2014.
  • Increase promotion efforts for Metastasis
    • I need to come up with a way to set actual concrete goals for promotion. Not only for Fae and Metastasis, but everything I edit and/or publish. Oh hey!
  • Figure out a way to set concrete goals for promotion. Set concrete goals for promotion.
  • Hold a successful fundraiser for Niteblade
  • Produce a NaNoLJers anthology if interest exists
  • Publish and promote A is for Apocalypse
  • Solicit writers for B is for (haha not telling yet!) and begin that process
  • Continue to edit and publish Niteblade, keeping it something I can be very proud of.
  • Complete the edits on Grammy’s book

Wow. What a year it’s been under Editing / Publishing. Going to tackle all these one at a time…

This is the audience for the launch of Fae at WWC
Audience at Fae Launch at WWC

First, I did finish FAE and I promoted it to the best of my ability. That included getting over my anxiety about holding a physical launch party, and making sure I always had copies of the book on hand at every convention I went to (and I went to three) to sell. Some of these efforts were successful (the party at When Words Collide, for example) and some, like the postcards with discount codes I printed up for World Fantasy were abject failures. Live and learn, right?

I was also successful in pursuing other anthology ideas. My goal had been to have at least one more under contract with a publisher by the end of the year, but I smashed that to bits. I have two anthologies with signed contracts which I’m even now finalizing the tables of contents for and which will be published this year. They are SCARECROW and CORVIDAE. I also have a verbal agreement to begin reading submissions for a fourth anthology for World Weaver Press (tentatively entitled SIRENS: Sea and Sky) this year and publishing it next year.

I did not find any awesome ways to increase promotion efforts for METASTASIS, but even so it earned out all its production costs and began sending small (but emotionally meaningful) donations to support cancer research.

C.S. MacCath reading from her A is for Apocalypse story at WFC 2014
C.S. MacCath reading her A is for Apocalypse story at WFC 2014

I also didn’t come up with a way to set concrete goals for promotion, but I did get far better at tracking the results of promotions, so I’m going to call that a step in the right direction.

We held another successful fundraiser for Niteblade in 2014, raising $510 and (even better for my ego) collecting a whole lot of really nice things Niteblade authors had to say about it.

I didn’t produce a NaNoLJers anthology last year, but that is because there wasn’t much in the way of interest.

A IS FOR APOCALYPSE is awesome. I did, in fact, publish it and promoted it as well as I could. I think in some ways it suffered for being launched so close to FAE but despite that sales exceeded my expectations and it has been very well-received including having stories from it on people’s top five lists, end of the year reading recommendations and getting a handful of nice reviews here, there and everywhere.

Not only did I solicit writers for B IS FOR BROKEN I’m nearly finished editing those stories and I’ve settled on the themes for the next two alphabet anthologies and let the authors know about them so they can decide to sign up, or not, in a leisurely fashion.

Niteblade had a fantastic year with me at the helm and though I’m partly saddened that 2015 will be its last year, mostly it feels like the right thing to do. End on a high note and go out in style 🙂

I completed the edits on Grammy’s book. Added the whole new section she wanted appended to the back, got it formatted, published and shipped to her in time for her to give out copies at Christmas. So, basically, I rocked it 🙂

~*~

Writing

2014 is the year of the novel. It is because I say it is, damn it!

  • Complete the novel currently known as ‘Hollow’
    • By ‘complete’ I mean have that sucker ready to start querying agents about
  • Complete the first draft of at least two other novels
    • One of these may be one of my pen name projects
  • Self-publish the zombie poetry book and complete my other plans for it
  • Write 350 words a day, five days a week. So 1,750 words a week.
    • Yes. A week. It’s not huge, but I’ve got a lot of other stuff on this list, damn it! :-p
  • Bundle up and self-publish more of my reprints
  • Complete sekkrit collaborative project
  • Participate in NovPAD and/or April PAD
  • Anything with the word ‘NaNo’ in the title is optional
    • …except NaNoLJers. Set up prompts for odd-numbered MondaysMythic_Delirium_paperback_cover-1024x760

Well, despite my intentions 2014 turned into the year of the anthology, not the novel. Hollow is done. Mostly. I had to do a whole extra draft I hadn’t counted on, but now it only needs a final spit polish and it will be ready to start querying. It’s finding the time to do that polish that is turning into a tricky thing.

I also sold my Aphanasian novel, SHADOWS, to World Weaver Press. That required a lot of re-writing and I anticipate at least one, possibly two more passes before it’s ready for release. It’s scheduled to be released some time this year though, so we’ll have to wait and see when that comes to pass 🙂

I did self-publish my zombie poetry book, and a collection of funny zombie reprints. I didn’t find time to ‘complete my other plans’ for the zombie poetry book, but who knows, perhaps a miracle will happen and I’ll find a way to do that this year LOL Could happen…

Still not finished my sekkrit collaborative project with Marge Simon, but working on it. Still working on it. Kind of like the tortoise in that story…

I participated in NovPAD and April PAD. I was not super successful at either but… I got a few poems out of them. I also participated in NaNoWriMo, however in recognition of how busy I was I re-named it MicroWriMo and aimed for 10k words. I wrote just under 8k. Meh.

Also, I had prompts set up and scheduled for odd-number Mondays for NaNoLJers and then I did something very stupid and deleted them all. So, that was a big fail right there.

~*~

Reading

  • Read at least 50 books.
    • Have 25% be non-fiction

Ocean At The End Of The LaneAccording to Goodreads I read 63 books (I really ought to keep track of how many stories I read in slush LOL) 11 of which were non-fiction. So, I surpassed the main goal but fell short on the mini one. Of those books my favourites, in no particular order, were:

~*~

Misc

  • Create a publishing website (company name, etc. but only to publish my own projects.)
  • Participate in A Month of Letters
  • Do the Blogging from A to Z Challenge
  • Blog at least once a week
  • Shoot at least one roll of analog film per month
  • Finish the ship cross stitch I started *mumble* years ago
  • Complete the top of the quilt I’m doing in memory of my mother and post it on JoFigure
  • Attend at least two writing conventions

Photo stolen from Billie Milholland --> https://www.facebook.com/billie.milhollandSo… the good news about all the things I missed on this list is that they are all still on my radar, and aside from A Month of Letters I can do them anytime. I’m surprised I missed A Month of Letters this year, so surprised I had to go and check my blog archives to make sure I really had. Weird. I do write snail mail sporadically over the course of the year anyway but historically I’ve really gotten a lot out of A Month of Letters so I’ll have to work pretty hard at re-adding that next year.

Also, I went to three conventions. When Words Collide is my new all-time favourite convention ever. Plus I also attended my second World Fantasy and went to Pure Spec here in Edmonton. The highlight of Pure Spec, for me, was the Character Death Matches (I participated and got my butt kicked. Fun!)

~*~

And there you have it. My year in review or, more specifically, a look at the goals I set last year with an eye to seeing how successful I was.

On paper I wasn’t super successful, but as I mentioned at the start of this (very long) entry, it’s always interesting to see how my priorities shift and change over the year. While my health-based priorities remain the same and I really need to devote more time, energy and effort to them I’m perfectly good with the progress I made on my other goals. Writing a lot of novels got pushed back a bit in favour of editing a lot of anthologies, for example. I’m good with that, and very proud of the results.

I know a great number of my friends struggled through 2014 in ways that meant getting dressed each morning was a victory, but overall, 2014 was a very good year for me. How did it treat you? Did you accomplish most of the things you set out to do? Are you happy with what you managed?

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see what 2015 has to offer. I’ll be making a new set of goals for myself and sharing them here in the near future. If you do the same please let me know, I like seeing the goals other people set for themselves, sometimes they help inspire mine 🙂

zOctober

zOctober2014badge

Today I have a guest blog over at My Book Addiction where I’m talking about music and the apocalypse. I’m also giving away copies of Waste Not (and other funny zombie stories) *and* sharing excerpts from A is for Apocalypse.

Check it out

Also? I’m giving away an electronic copy of A is for Apocalypse on the zOctober Facebook page today. It is also worth checking out

Here.

🙂

 

Moar Zombeez

Flea Market ZombiesThere has been so much zombie stuff going on of late, what with the #SummerZombie goodness and my own giving over my blog to the theme that I’m beginning to feel a bit zombie-ish myself. Which is not to say I’m getting tired of the shamblers, I’m not, I’m just running low on words for blog posts 🙂

Happily, though, I don’t have to be wordy all the time 🙂

Back on Father’s Day I had a guest blog at Sarah Lyons Flemming’s blog about why I still love zombies. You can read about it by clicking here. There’s even a short little poem there 🙂

Then, yesterday I was interviewed at Books, Beer and Blogshit about Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories). You can check it out by clicking here.

Also, John Anthony James wrote a blog post a while back about why zombies are awesome. He’s dusted that off and spruced it up a bit for us, and you can read it by clicking here.

And now, to finish up, I’m going to link to a few zombtastic poems and stories from Niteblade. Because :-p There are loads more zombies at Niteblade, but I’m just picking some of the more recent ones to link to here 🙂

The Summer I Fell In Love by Aaron Polson

You Kill Me by Milo James Fowler

Forbidden Island by J.A. Grier

The Traveling Dead by Keith Kennedy (I’m not actually sure if this is about zombies… but it *could* be…)

Compassion, During and After the Fally by Cory Cone

Enjoy 🙂

P.S. the image right there is the cover from Niteblade’s June 2010 issue, Flea Market Zombies 🙂

 

 

 

A Few Zombie Stories

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)I’m giving my blog over to the zombies this month to celebrate the release of my book, Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories). As part of that I’ve invited some friends to pop over and share their thoughts about zombies. One of the people who took me up on the offer was Cory Cone. Cory is the author of the fantastic zombie story Compassion, During and After the Fall which I had the pleasure of publishing in Niteblade. It was largely on the strength of that story that I invited him to contribute to A is for Apocalypse (which also, oddly enough, has zombies in it LoL)

Today, Cory is writing a bit of non-fiction for me to share with you here today. Specifically, he’s going to talk about the zombtastic works for Joe R. Lansdale. Confession time… I haven’t read any of Joe’s work, but after these glowing recommendations I intend to change that.

 

A Few Zombie Stories by Joe R. Lansdale

(a guest post by Cory Cone)

Edge of Dark WaterWhenever I’m asked to recommend a book, I suggest Edge of Dark Water by Champion Mojo Storyteller, Joe R. Lansdale. It is a depression era novel set in East Texas, the setting of most of Lansdale’s stories, and is among my favorite of his books. But honestly, making only one suggestion from his gargantuan bibliography of novels and short stories is near impossible. Lansdale is constantly inventive, funny, terrifying, and insightful in his fiction. His collections include Bleeding Shadows, Bumper Crop, High Cotton, among others. He is also the author of several novels, including the Hap and Leonard series, The Bottoms, A Thin Dark Line, The Thicket, and Cold in July, recently released as a film.

If you have never read anything by this author and are curious about some of his non-zombie short fiction, allow me to recommend the collection The Best of Joe R. Lansdale. It contains some of his best work, including one of my all-time favorite short stories, Night They Missed the Horror Show. But be warned: it’s a story that haunts long after the final sentence. Last year, Apex Magazine reprinted one of his most famous short stories, Tight Little Stitches In a Dead Man’s Back, and it’s available for free online. In addition, Lansdale frequently posts his stories for free on his website.

But it’s the month of zombie, so if you’re looking to kick back and read some outstanding zombie fiction, you can’t go wrong with the following three stories:

Christmas with the Dead

Calvin, surviving alone in a zombified world, isn’t going to let the walking dead stop him from decorating his house for Christmas. This story remains among my favorite from Lansdale. It’s silly, it’s funny, it’s full of the perfectly articulated imagery one comes to expect from a Lansdale story (“The way their teeth bit into her, how the skin stretched, it looked as if they were trying to pull old bubble gum loose from the sidewalk.”). In the mix you’ll find moments so moving you can’t quite believe a story like this is getting to you, especially the absolutely fantastic ending, which I’d be a fool to ruin here. You can find it in Bleeding Shadows. It was also made into a film by his son, Keith, which you can buy on DVD.

A Visit with Friends

This story can also be found in Bleeding Shadows. A very different tale from Christmas with the Dead, A Visit with Friends is told in first person and is mostly a single scene of dialogue between the narrator and his wife. They’ve secured their houses, adapted, and feel fairly confident they will survive. Here, though, it’s more than just the main character(s) making due—it’s the entire city. In many of Lansdale’s zombie stories, he gives his characters a lot of credit and shows just how much ingenuity humans could potentially have in such situations. That said, this particular story, as well as the next one I’ll be mentioning, takes a much darker look at the world than Christmas with the Dead. It deals with nastier human impulses and asks the question: Who, in this zombie world, are the real monsters?The Best Of Joe R. Lansdale

The Hunt: Before, and the Aftermath

This is another first person story, which is always a treat. Joe R. Lansdale’s characters have such distinct, relatable, and enjoyable voices that it is always a pleasure to get inside their heads. This story was collected in an out of print book, Trapped in the Saturday Matinee, and in The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror 24, edited by Stephen Jones. Once more, Lansdale uses the zombie apocalypse as a backdrop for disturbing human experiences. This story is about love, the temptations one must battle when married, and ultimately, forgiveness. Oh, and zombies!

There you have it. Dig in and eat up some great zombie fiction.

​Thank you, Rhonda, for having me on your blog!​

 

Mythbusting Monsters: Zombies

Once upon a time I wrote a short-lived series of articles for Dark Moon Digest I called Monster Mythbusting. The first of those articles, Monster Mythbusting: Haitian Zombis appeared in Dark Moon Digest Issue #2 in 2011. I’m going to reprint it here today in honor of the fact I’m giving my blog over to zombies this month to celebrate my the release of my latest zombie title, Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories).

Monster Mythbusting: Haitian Zombis

When Stan invited me to do a column for Dark Moon Digest first I was flattered, and then in no time at all I was stumped. What could I possibly write about from issue to issue that people would want to read? After considering and rejecting a great number of ideas I settled on this one: Monster Mythbusting.

Ever wonder if a lizard really could grow big enough to tower over buildings, if a creature could spontaneously burst into flames (or sparkle) when exposed to sunlight, or if zombies could really exist? Then stick around. These are the sorts of questions I plan to tackle in this column.

We’re going to start with the zombie. Zombies have enjoyed an upsurge in popularity recently which makes me very happy. Ever since, as a kid, I first saw George Romero’s original Dawn of the Dead I have been hooked on zombies. Whether they are shambling undead hordes, hanging out in regency novels or rage-filled “zoombies”, it doesn’t matter; I love them all. That made them the perfect monster for my first Dark Moon Digest column, but I needed a specific myth to examine.

One of my favourite zombie types is the living zombie, specifically those purportedly created via voodoo. Wade Davis, an ethnobotanist (a scientist who studies culture, plants and the interaction between the two) has spent a lot of time studying this type of zombie and the process by which they are created in Haiti. His work and theories were popularized by his novel, The Serpent and the Rainbow, and the Wes Craven movie of the same name. His work inspired the question I’ve decided to investigate for this column: do zombies exist in Haiti today?

Belief in the existence of zombies is nearly universal in Haiti and I think it’s important to note that Haitian zombies are not Hollywood zombies. They are not ghouls set on spreading their affliction throughout the human race. In fact, in Haiti people aren’t afraid of zombies, they are afraid of becoming one. It’s not the zombie that is the monster, but its creator. A Haitian zombie (or zombi) is a person who has had their soul removed from their body, leaving them a mindless, empty shell. In direct conflict with the idea of cannibalistic zombies, in Haiti it is strongly believed that zombis who have been created to be a slave must not be fed salt or meat lest their spirit be returned to them.

The belief in zombification is so pervasive in Haiti that there are laws against it. Article 249 of the penal code in Haiti equates turning a person into a zombie with murder even though the zombie is still technically alive. The fear of grave robbery and being raised from the dead is so strong that Haitian crypts are often locked and barred. Guards are set on them, to watch until the bodies are decomposed enough to be beyond resurrection or usefulness to a voodoo priest or “bokor”.

Practioners of voodoo believe zombis can be created in two ways. The first is accidental and the second intentional. Accidental zombis are believed to happen in the course of some voodoo ceremonies. During these rituals it is not uncommon for a believer to become possessed by the spirit of a god. Since a god and a person cannot be in the same place at the same time, the person’s soul temporarily leaves their body. They believe if the god’s spirit vacates the body too abruptly it may take the person’s spirit with it, leaving them a zombi. Religious accidents do not lend themselves well to being studied. Thus, for the sake of this column I am going to focus on intentionally created zombies.

Voodoo curses and zombification (or the threat thereof) are used as a means of vengeance in Haiti. A person can hire a bokor to zombify their enemies, killing them and then raising them from the dead as soulless slaves. It’s the ultimate revenge.

Wade Davis studied the powder bokors use to create zombies and found that it contained a powerful neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin which comes, primarily, from the puffer fish. Exposure to this venom can result in a comatose state that strongly mimics death. Thus, he theorized, people could be mistakenly declared dead and buried.[1] Then the bokor could dig them up.

Oxygen deprivation from their time in the grave could cause brain damage. The typical progression of this sort of brain damage (cerebral hypoxia[2]) is to first destroy higher order abilities such as speech and independent thought before it affected motor function. This would, in theory, leave people mobile and able to perform simple tasks but unable to think for themselves.

Once disinterred, they would be forced to eat “zombie cucumber”, a pasty mix of cane sugar, sweet potatoes and a powerful psychoactive substance called datura stramonium. The datura stramonium could cause memory loss and keep the newly created zombies submissive and disoriented.

There are those who find fault with Mr. Davis’ theories. Two scientists in particular, who are experts about tetrodotoxin, C.Y. Kao and Takeshi Yasumoto, took issue with his findings. They argued that Mr. Davis had hurt his scientific credibility by keeping certain information which may have cast doubt on the potency of zombie powder out of his thesis and condemned him for participating in graverobbing as part of his research. They also believed that the concentration of tetrodotoxin in the zombie powder he studied was too low to have any affect on a human subject.[3] However, the potency of the powder is likely to be highly variable—bokors don’t tend to use precise measurements and the toxicity of the puffer fish varies from season to season and even across gender. Thus, it’s conceivable that some powders might be more potent than others.

On the other hand, there is a famous case study that lends credence to Mr. Davis’ theory. In 1962, Clairvius Narcisses, a Haitian man who complained of symptoms of exposure to tetrodotoxin, was declared dead by two American-trained doctors and subsequently buried. Eighteen years later, a man claiming to be Clairvius approached his sister, identified himself and shared information that wasn’t common knowledge to attempt to prove his identity. He claimed he’d been turned into a zombi and forced by a bokor to work on a sugar plantation until the bokor’s death released him from his power.

The man claiming to be Mr. Narcisse alleged that, after being declared dead, he remained completely conscious and aware of what was going on around him but was unable to move or communicate—the same symptoms have been described for individuals poisoned with tetrodotoxin. He also claimed to be aware of his funeral and burial and showed a scar on his cheek where a nail punctured him when the coffin lid was fastened. Upon being quizzed about obscure familial and local knowledge that only someone from his village around the time of his alleged death would know and he answered them all correctly. Intriguing, no?

In 1996 and 1997 Roland Littlewood and Chavannes Douyon went to Haiti and examined three people who were purported to be zombis. They determined their first subject was a catatonic schizophrenic, the second had brain damage which was likely the result of anoxia and the third had a severe learning disability that was quite likely fetal alcohol syndrome. Most interestingly, was the fact that two of their subjects were DNA tested and found to be unrelated to the people who claimed them as family[4].

Littlewood and Douyon’s study implies that people who are brain damaged or mentally ill may be confused for zombis. However, we can’t use this case as evidence against the existence of zombis because Littlewood and Douyon would not dismiss the possibility that these people—especially the one who was brain damaged from a lack of oxygen—had been poisoned by a bokor with zombie powder. In fact, they said, “Given that death is locally recognised without access to medical certification, and that burial usually occurs within a day of death, it is not implausible for a retrieved person to be alive. The use of Datura stramonium to revive them, and its possible repeated administration during the period of zombi slavery could produce a state of extreme psychological passivity.”[5]

So, are Hatian zombis real? While I believe that some cases of zombification are actually misunderstood mentally ill or damaged people, I find that I’m unable to dismiss all cases this way. Perhaps the zombie powder doesn’t work very often, but it doesn’t have to. If it works even once in a million times that is enough. In addition, as Mr. Davis pointed out, we have to take the Haitian culture into account when considering zombis; they believe in them and in the power of voodoo, and belief is a powerful force. In the end I’m not willing to call this myth confirmed, but I definitely think it’s plausible. Perhaps we’ll never know the answer for sure but that only adds to the mystique around Haitian zombis and tightens the grip they and voodoo have upon our imagination.

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[1]E. Davis, Wade (1985). The Serpent and the Rainbow. New York: Simon & Schuster.

[2] “Cerebral Hypoxia Information Page: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke,” accessed November 4, 2010. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/anoxia/anoxia.htm

[3] Takeshi Yasumoto and C.Y. Kao, “Tetrodotoxin and the Haitian zombie,” Toxicon, No. 24, (1986).

[4] Roland Littlewood and Chavannes Douyon, “Clinical findings in three cases of zombification,” Lancet, No. 350, (1997).

[5] Littlewood and Douyon, “Clinical findings in three cases of zombification.”

 

(I added the tree picture because if you squint at it in just the right way it’s almost “spooky”, I haven’t taken any zombie photographs [yet] and I really felt like there needed to be a break between the body of the article and the references. So. Yeah.)

About My Cover

This is me and my beautiful daughter, Danica:

Rhonda and Danica ParrishPhotograph by Cindy Gannon

And this is the cover for my latest title, Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories):

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

It’s not exactly a typical zombie cover, is it? You can’t even tell if there are any zombies on it. Well, since the stories inside aren’t of the scary/gorey type of zombie tales I didn’t want the cover to be like that either. Also, it just so happens that Danica is an artist. A pretty talented artist (even if I am biased to think so :-p):

One day, on Facebook I logged in and saw this:

Mom, Please Buy Me -- art by Danica Parrish

In case you can’t read that it says, “Plz buy me this program Mom”. She’d found a drawing program that was compatible with her tablet and she wanted me to buy it for her. Now, Danica doesn’t lack for anything she needs but we do try not to just hand her everything she wants, so I told her that if she drew art work for the cover for Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) I would pay her the exact amount of money she needed to buy that program.

I asked her for a cover with a cat, a scarecrow and a yellow brick road.

After several different mock-ups, including this one when I asked her to make something “a bit more cartoony” (my daughter is nothing if not a smart ass):

by Danica Parrish

We ended up with this as the final product:

Cover art for Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) by Danica Parrish

I passed that on to Jo (my husband) and he played around with it, eventually turning it into the final cover for Waste Not that you see up top there.

Even though we didn’t go with the full colour version in the end, I did want to be sure and show it off because I think it’s wonderful, especially the glow from the Emerald City you can see on the horizon 🙂

The cover then was an undertaking for the whole family, which makes it pretty damn special to me, and probably pretty unique in the zombie fiction world in more ways than one LOL Not many families can say they’ve created a zombie book together, I wouldn’t think 😉

I’m Interviewed at Jay Wilburn’s Blog

Summer of ZombiesLike the subject says, I’m being interviewed over at Jay Wilburn’s blog today as a part of the Summer of Zombie blog tour. As a part of that, I’m also giving away a few copies of Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) on Facebook 🙂

And with that, I’m going to hit ‘Publish’ on what might very well be the shortest blog entry I’ve ever written 😉

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

The reason I’m giving my blog over to the zombies this month is this — Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) My newest release! 🙂 It’s not a great title, I’ll grant you, but the stories are cool. I’m better at writing stories than titles 😉 In fact, after reading it Vanessa Ricci-Thode (author of Dragon Whisperer) described Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) as, “Hit-you-in-the-gut dark humour [that] will have you howling.” 🙂

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) is a collection of three of my previously-published zombie stories that I think will make you laugh. Now instead of having to purchase three different magazines to read them, you can get them all under one cover. The Kindle edition is $1.99 or free when you buy a paperback copy. And why did I make a paperback copy of a thirty-five page book (aside from the fact I wanted to put it on my ego shelf)? Well, because of all those times you’re shopping at Amazon and you’re like ‘Oh man, I just need $5 more to get free shipping!’ Well, lemme tell ya, have I got a deal for you!

…okay, maybe I mostly just wanted to be able to put it on my ego shelf LOL But still, it’s a fun little collection. Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) includes:

Waste Not – The coming of zombies forces humankind back to the land, to a simple lifestyle where ‘Waste Not, Want Not’ becomes more than a motto, it becomes the key to survival. And revenge.

Feeders – The zombie apocalypse will affect more than just humans, explore the repercussions of walking dead through the eyes of a cat in this story guaranteed to make you smile.

…Oh My! – What if the Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t killed by Dorothy’s house? What if she couldn’t be, because she was a zombie. Dun dun dun!

One last thing? If you check out Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) or if you’ve read any of the individual stories and enjoyed them, would you consider leaving me a review at Amazon or Goodreads? I would appreciate it 🙂

In the meantime, if zombie munchkins don’t really sound like your thing (and if that’s the case how on earth did you end up on my blog? LoL) but other kinds of zombies make you happy, check out the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour. It even has t-shirts! (Dudes, my name on a t-shirt? My ego wouldn’t LET me say no LoL) Or just check back here, I’m going to be hosting some zombi-rific guest blogs over the next few weeks. You won’t want to miss ’em 🙂

Month of Zombies

In order to celebrate the release of my book*:

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)Waste Not: And Other Funny Zombie Stories

I have decided to give my blog over to the shambling hordes of undead for June.

As part of that I am participating in the Summer of Zombies Blog Tour:

SummerofZombies

But as big and awesome as that is (and it is!), it’s not going to fill my blog.

So if you have anything zombie that you’d like to share here on my blog, please let me know (via comments, email, Facebook or Twitter).

I’m looking for guest blogs, book reviews, movie reviews, zombie poetry, rants, raves — whatever. If it’s zombified (and not X-rated LOL) I want to host it here on my blog next month. A few dates are already spoken for, but there are plenty left, so if you’re interested please speak up. The more the merrier!

 

*Much more about this later 😉