Tag Archives: Newsletter

FREE Reads

The absolute best way to read my stuff for free is to subscribe to my newsletter. First, as soon as you subscribe you’ll be able to download a free copy of my award-winning short story, “Starry Night”. Second, I occasionally send short stories to my subscribers just to share them, and third, because my subscribers always get the first shot at free advance copies of my work.

It’s win/win.

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White Noise

White Noise -- Art and cover design by Jonathan Parrish

Just in time for zOctober (because, ya know, I didn’t have enough apocalyptic awesomeness to celebrate with A is for Apocalypse and Waste Not) I’ve released my zombie poetry collection:

White Noise

Poems of the Zombie Apocalypse


I’ve been meaning to put this collection together for honest-to-gawd years but things never seemed to work out, until now. That’s why, though I’d normally wait, set a launch date and try to build up some excitement and publicity before officially launching a title, I’m not doing that with this one. It’s ready to go, and so I’m going to set it loose upon the world before something else goes wrong to delay its release LOL

White Noise contains 20 of my zombie apocalypse poems, some of them are reprints (including the one which was included in Imaginarium: Best Canadian Speculative Writing [2012] and the one which was nominated for a Dwarf Star award) and some are being published for the very first time.



Ghosts of the city
peer out of the gloom
around him
As a child he’d loved it
when the ‘clouds fell down’
and cloaked his world
in mysteries
Now, though,
it was just one more thing
to hide the shamblers.
One more obstacle to
his survival.
One more enemy.

Available At:

Amazon (paperback)
Amazon (kindle)

White Noise is $5.99 for physical copies and $0.99 for electronic ones.

Exceptions to this are if you buy a paperback copy (a great way to fill your cart when you need $5.99 more for free shipping, amirite?) you’ll get the Kindle version free and also, if you were subscribed to my newsletter yesterday you received an electronic copy for free.

White Noise on Goodreads

Praise for White Noise

“A collection of vivid scenes laid out in sharp and articulate verse, that when assembled, construct a grim narrative filled with tension, stark imagery, and unusual beauty. WHITE NOISE reaches in and evokes a visceral response— not always the one you’d expect.”

—Tim Deal, Shroud Quarterly

“In this collection of poems, Rhonda Parrish manages to capture all the emotions of life during an apocalypse: From fear and desperation to pain and sorrow. She even shows us love and hope. Some serious but most tinged with humor. This is a great collection of poems about the zombie apocalypse.”

—Carol Hightshoe – author of the Chaos Reigns Saga and Editor of Zombiefied I, II and III

“As soon as I read the first poem I was hooked! It was macabre but it wasn’t too far. Poetry puts our insides on our outsides and when it comes to zombies, well, that could get pretty gross in a hurry.

These poems were really good! They were passionate and made me think about zombies from new angles than I had thought about them in the past. There was a dash of the metaphysical put in and a lot of real living, non-zombie feelings as well. I’m going to go back for a second read, because they deserve it.”

—Virginia Carraway Stark, Starklight Press

New Newsletter

Freddie_OGI just sent the following email out to my old newsletter subscribers. It was, uh, less than successful, so I’m posting it here as well in case a few more people might see it. And also as a sort of lazily-written announcement. New newsletter subscribers are just as welcome as returning ones 🙂


I think it’s been three years since I last sent an email to this list, so you may have totally forgotten it existed, I know I’m not even sure this is the correct address to mail this to. I hope it is though, and that even if you’d forgotten you’d subscribed to this list once upon a time you haven’t forgotten me. I hope that for a lot of reasons, one of which is that I’m resurrecting the ole newsletter.

Yeppers, and it’s going to be better than ever!

For one thing, I won’t be sending it out every month. Forcing myself to send it on the first of each month just didn’t work. The result was a few newsletters the point of which was, “Well, I have nothing to say really…” *sigh* So, yeah, no more of that. From now on I’m only going to send out a newsletter when I have a reason to send out a newsletter. A good reason. A reason like I’ve got an anthology that just opened to submissions, or one of my books has been released. I’ll also send out occasional newsletters with exclusive content (stories, poems, excerpts) I’ve written and special offers (discounts or giveaways), but no more “Uh… so it’s the first of the month…” letters. Nope.

Secondly, I’m shifting to using MailChimp to manage the mailing list. Partly I’m doing this because it’s pretty (do you remember the old sign-up forms? Man were they UGLY), but also partly because they give me all sorts of fun toys and HTML-based templates I can use to make the newsletter look nice and be easier to read than the older, .pdf versions.

The only downside to this change is that it’ll require you to re-subscribe to my newsletter. In theory I could import all the email addresses from the old newsletter into the new newsletter manager but I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to do that for two reasons. The first is that I’ve lost the password to get into the admin area of this newsletter list…

…I wish I were joking.

Worst of all? There’s no password retrieval system that I can find. So that’s fun >_< The other reason, which would be relevant even if I hadn’t lost my password, is that I don’t want to presume you still want to receive my newsletters. It has been several years since I sent one. People change, could be you’re no longer interested. Obviously I hope that’s not the case, but you never know, right? So if you’d like to subscribe to my new and improved, super spiffy newsletter you can do that by clicking right here:

Rhonda’s New Newsletter

The only thing you need to put into that form is your email address and if you have any troubles email me at rhonda@jofigure.com . Do not try to send an email to me by hitting ‘Reply’ to this email though, because within hours of my sending this I’m going to delete this old mailing list (I haven’t lost the password for that!) to complete the shift to the new system. I really hope to ‘see’ you there 🙂


Connect With Me


I wasn’t feeling well yesterday so I spent most of it sleeping to try and head off whatever I was coming down with. It worked, I feel much better today, but I really couldn’t afford the time off. I was already falling behind on schoolwork and a metric craptonne of misc. tasks, and the day not doing them has resulted in my being even more swamped than usual.

One of those misc. tasks on my to-do list is a newsletter for this month. I don’t have time to think or be creative or anything like that, so my solution is to share chapter one of Lost and Found in the newsletter. I think it’s a win-win situation. It rewards my subscribers with an early peek (everyone else gets to see the first chapter on October 4th) and formatting that for the newsletter will take far less time than it usually takes me to put together. Yay!

The newsletter will be going out tonight, when I get back from my critiquing meeting 🙂

Um…Delayed Newsletters and stuff…

I’m on vacation. I’m actually doing some work while I’m on vacation, but not a whole lot. Nope, not a lot at all. I did find an old story in one of my notebooks that I’d started and stopped a couple/few times. I took it out and wrote it to submit as my final Whittaker story. The results aren’t out yet, but I’m happy. I met all my deadlines except one, and that one was a result of a brain fart about time zones (I was out at the time I should have been emailing my poem to beat the deadline). So yay!

I’ll definitely do the Whittakers again next year. Deadlines are win when it comes to productivity for me, apparently. I got several good pieces out of this year’s and that makes me very happy. Shame my brain doesn’t assign the same degree of importance to deadlines I give myself which don’t affect anyone else… Maybe someday.


I made a newsletter and went to send it out, but then I found that I couldn’t quite do it. Why? Well, lemme tell you.

The newsletter had a zombie poem and included a retelling of an incident that happened to my family and I when we were in San Francisco. That incident involved a very angry man wearing woman’s clothes stomping around a McDonald’s and shouting at everyone in there that we were “all a bunch of faggots”. It was so bizarre that I filed that man away to be used as a character at some point, and Jo called me on it after we left the McDonalds. So why not share it?

I find that I’m incredibly uncomfortable sharing it, actually. I define myself as ‘mostly straight’ but I haven’t a homophobic bone in my body. Still, I can’t bring myself to share that story in its entirety because I’ve learned that it’s impossible to overestimate people’s ability to misconstrue your words. I’m SO not looking for that to happen.

Hopefully I can find another short worth sharing and send out the newsletter before the end of the month is completely over. Wish me luck!

Early Newsletter?

I’m not going to have a long, interesting blog today because in preparation for my writing retreat next week I’m actually working on my newsletter today. Early. What’s up with that? LoL

As promised I will be revealing the news about one of my super sekkrit projekts in this one. If you don’t subscribe don’t worry, I’ll tell you too…you just need to wait a couple days LOL

Because I wanted to offer something other than ‘Shh I’m trying to think here’* I’ve included a picture from this weekend. Danica was dressed a -little- bit country with a plaid button-up shirt and a huge cowboy hat, so I filtered it in post to emphasize her freckles and really make her look country. 🙂

*If you caught the Jaina Proudmore reference you rock. Just sayin’.

April Newsletter

I’m sitting here listening to Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley (who make up Evelyn Evelyn) perform even though they are separated by an ocean courtesy of the giant ash cloud. It’s remarkable what technology makes possible, isn’t it? Someday perhaps it will inspire me to write something techno-y. In the meantime, I’ve found some inspiration in the deadlines and prompts offered via the Whittaker Prize. I included one of the stories I wrote for it in my newsletter, which yes, I did get done and sent out today.



For people who are subscribed to my newsletter this update post will have some news that you’ve read already. Bare with me (or is it bear with me?) though, there will be some stuff you’ve not read before too 🙂

First of all, Clarion West sent me their spiffy form rejection letter last week. I was disappointed, of course, but far less than I would have guessed. Truthfully, as much as I wanted to go to Clarion West (or Clarion), the idea of being away from my life and family for six weeks was a difficult one. It would have been tough on them, Danica especially, and I wasn’t sure I was actually willing to be that selfish, or what the cost for the people I love would be. Still, yes, disappointed. Maybe next year — Dani will be more independant then. We’ll see. We’ll see.

In the meantime, I keep writing. I entered the Whittaker Prize this year in an effort to give myself deadlines and also receive completely unbiased feedback on my work (since judging is anonymous and I don’t know the judges so they can’t recognise my style). I shared the story and poem I was submitting for the first round in my newsletter. The scores are in and I did better than I expected (74/100 on the poem and 85/100 on the story — surprising, I would have never guessed I’d score higher on the story than the poem.), now I’m looking forward to receiving my written feedback. I’m also working on my submissions for round two.

One of the prompts reminded me of a story I’d long wanted to write about Michael and Margaret. It’s set a long time before Sister Margaret but when it’s done I hope that you’ll be able to see the seeds of their future in its pages. It’s also meant to stand alone. Progress is going well on it, and it will make me happy to be able to submit an Aphanasian story for unbiased scoring and feedback. As for the poem…I’ve only a vague idea. We’ll see what comes of it. It is, of course, zombie related 🙂

Speaking of zombies, I will be doing the poem-a-day challenge in April. Sorta. My plan is to follow his prompts and write a poem a day, then after revision combine those poems (all zombie, of course) with the zombie poems I wrote based on Robert Brewer’s prompts in November and see if I can’t come up with a chapbook. I don’t know that I’ll do the ‘enter-the-contest’ part though. I doubt it.

Let me leave you with a short story about the kind of book I want to write. I was talking with my daughter about a book* she was reading and loving. We were discussing the storyline and one of the mysteries within. Danica said, “Well, that’s possible, but we think *insert spoilerific theory here*”. I said, “Oh, are some of your friends reading this series too?” she said no and asked why I’d think that. I said “Well, you said we think. That implies that you’ve been discussing this with other people.” Danica laughed and explained that no, when she said ‘we’ she meant she and the other characters in the book.

Think about that for a moment.

Those are the kinds of characters I want to write, the sorts of connections I want to make with my readers. Bravo Kelley.

*The Awakening by Kelley Armstrong. Danica loves what she’s read of the series so far. I, personally, enjoyed the first book in the series, The Summoning, until I realised there wasn’t going to be any resolution at all. I don’t like book series in which none of the books can stand alone.

Lastly, that picture? I just love it, and with the snow that has decided to return and cover my world with its beautiful but decidedly cold goodness I am truly longing for warmer weather and flowers.

Point Form Stuffs

That is a screenshot of the links bar from Kari Wolfe’s blog at Imperfect Clarity. What does it have to do with anything? Um. Not much. I just think it’s fantastically amazing to have my name included in that list. I’m in pretty good company there, hmm? 🙂 Thanks Kari! That really made my day when I first saw it (obviously, I screenshotted it LOL).

So, the subject of this post is ‘Point Form Stuffs’ because I have so many things to touch on that the only way to do it all without this turning into a novel is in point form (hmm… point-form?)

  • Niteblade is no longer putting out a print anthology every fifth issue, however payouts for contributors have increased significantly. Linky Linky
  • Niteblade also has a twitter account @NitebladeZine (so do I in case you’ve not seen it before @RhondaParrish )
  • I decided to work out more and play World of Warcraft less. This has resulted in my having more focus (already, I started yesterday LOL) and actually, finally, beginning my Eowyn Challenge. So I’m now walking from Bag End to Rivendell, following Bilbo’s footsteps in The Hobbit. Why The Hobbit and not Lord of the Rings? Because I couldn’t decide what character to follow for LotR and I needed to make a choice and get started LOL I’ll do LotR next. To make myself feel accountable, I’ve put up a file in my public dropbox that will record my progress. That means, anyone who wants to can see how I’m doing. Clicky Clicky. I’m biking, not walking — I cite the winter weather as my excuse.
  • Shades of Green is coming out soon, and I’m trying to think of a way to have a contest to give one away, but I’m not coming up with anything clever. Any ideas?
  • NaNoLJers is having a short story contest (Short Story Contest) and since I’m not a judge and the judging is blind I thought I might enter. Alas, I am pretty much stumped. I have the vaguest concept for the story, but not much beyond that. The deadline is the middle of February though, so I have a little time to put something together still. If you write you should think about entering too.
  • I’m working on my newsletter today. It should go out by this afternoon. Yay for only being a few days late instead of weeks! 😉

I feel like I’m forgetting stuff…but that seems like a pretty good collection of ‘stuffs’ to share 🙂 How about you? Do you have any exciting stuffs to share?


Things are a weird (and quite surreal) mixture of incredibly laid-back and stressy-busy around here these days. It’s odd, and not great for productivity. Still, I sent out my newsletter today. It included the cover for Shades of Green (in case anyone missed it) and also the first chapter. I hope everyone enjoys it 🙂

In other news, over at Niteblade we are giving away a free .pdf of last year’s December issue, Oh, Christmas Tree. If you don’t already have a copy you can get it at http://www.niteblade.com/news 🙂

I won’t be online reliably now until after the New Year, so I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of December and I’ll see you in 2010 🙂