The anniversary of my mom’s death happened not so long ago and after much thought I decided not to blog about it… but today has been a hell of a day and I need to vent a little.
You know, mostly I deal well with the fact my mom is gone, I mean, as well as you can, but every once in a while life decides to pick up a stick and just jab it in all my most tender places.
Today was one of those days.
It started with seeing that Mom had given one of my books 5 stars on Goodreads two years ago (because, of course she did) and realizing she could never do that again. Then, because I’m a masochist, I followed the link from her name to her Goodreads profile and started sobbing at the list of books she ‘Wanted to Read’ but now never could.
My mother, Sandra McKenzie, passed away on October 11th, 2012. I have a lot of grieving to do and things to work through that I won’t be doing publicly (and maybe a little that I will). For today, however, I just want to say I love her and I miss her.
It’s Danica’s birthday today 🙂 She is now fifteen. Fifteen! Dude. That breaks my brain a little bit. For real.
I am the proudest mother in the world. Danica is a kind, intelligent, creative young lady who is made of win. Her art is anime-esque and often takes a bit of a dark bent, but so far it hasn’t disturbed me too much 😉 I’m looking forward to seeing her illustrate my work someday.
She loves her computer (many of her friends are in there!), but she’s also happy to sit down with a good book. She adores vampires, zombies, ghosts and ghoulies. She actually likes torture-porn movies (like the Saw series, which me no likee) but also gushes about how cute Pikachu is, and does Caramelldansen at random times:
And yes, she does look that cute when she dances it. And yes, she does sing the words. And no, I have no idea what they mean. She could be saying all sorts of bad things and I’d never know. Of course, that’s just not her style 🙂
Happy Birthday Dani!
I think Dani is made of awesome, which is one reason I chose October 5th as the day I wanted to contribute to the 3hundredand65 graphic novel. What they are doing is creating a graphic novel one tweet and one day at a time. Everyday someone (it could be you!) writes a tweet to continue the story and then David Kirkwood illustrates it. They are trying to raise money and awareness for the Teenage Cancer Trust.
I won’t lie, the story completely lost me more than once as it writhed its way from one plot twist to another, but then I began to feel like I was begining to get a grip on what was happening. Thank gawd. It would have sucked to have to pass on the oppourtunity to be a part of this project because I was confused. But I didn’t have to. I got to add my tweet.
For those of you who are already following the 3hundredand65 story, I will explain a little bit about why I wrote what I did. We’re getting near the end of the story now and so we need to start tying up some of the loose ends. With that in mind I wanted to bring at least one more of the old characters back into the action with Tink now. Slowly gathering people back together. Though I would most have liked to have written something about Big Lad (because, c’mon, how awesome is he?) way back in the spring Cope was given a five day deadline to atone for his sins. Time being maleable as it is in this story, I’m not actually sure how many days have gone by, but I don’t feel like he’s done much atoning yet so…
Of course there is the problem that Cope and Lad went inside all time… time still passes if you’re in it, right? Or… if you’re inside time are you outside of it? Or… Oh yeah, my head is starting to hurt again.
By leaving Cope’s face disembodied I’m hoping to leave things open to the next writer to decide if the Tinks are imagining him, seeing his reflection or some other, cooler, possibility. I’m looking forward to seeing where the story goes.
If you’re a writer they are still accepting sign-ups from people who want to contribute to the story. If you’re just a reader or a fan of art, it’s definitely worth checking out too. And if you can afford to, consider making a monetary contribution because, Fuck Cancer.
My mom has been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. She is trying to stay positive and so am I but my success varies from moment to moment. Sometimes I do very well, but I can fall apart in the blink of an eye. That means my blogging, writing, emailing etc. may be sporadic and random for a little while. I’ll also be canceling my trip to the World Fantasy Convention. I know you’ll understand.
Kindness is one thing that seems to make me crumble right now, so if I take a very long time to reply to your comments, it’s a safe bet that’s why.
Also, while I am an atheist my mother is not. If you are someone who believes in prayer I’m sure she would very much like to be included in yours.