I should have made this the #1 thing I shouldn’t have to tell you. I really should have, because it’s huge and so obvious.

I shouldn’t have to tell you to read the submission guidelines.

Seriously. You think you know what they say, but you don’t. Read them. I will know that you haven’t. I really will and it’s not going to pre-dispose me to like your submission. Seriously, at least read the short version, it’s right up there at the top and it says:

Short Version:
Simultaneous submissions: Yes
Reprints: Yes
Attached as .doc or .rtf files – NOT in the body of email unless they are poetry
NOT indented

I highly suggest reading the long version because I am rejecting stories unread if they fail to follow the guidelines. I don’t have time to do otherwise

Do you have any idea how many submissions I get that are indented? Would you care to guess how many of them I read?

If you read the long version it says:

Do not tell me what your story is about or include a synopsis in your cover letter. Let the story sell itself.

Would you care to guess how many submissions arrive with a synopsis?

The end of the submission guidelines says:

Hints…
My name is Rhonda Parrish. I am not a ‘sir’ and I get cranky when you address me as such.

The magazine’s name is Niteblade. Not Nightblade, not Niteblayde, not even Knightblade. It’s Niteblade. I get cranky when you spell it wrong.

I get cranky when I have to read stories in the body of an email (poems are okay).

If your submission includes a synopsis I’ll know you haven’t read these guidelines and I’ll be cranky.

It’s best if I’m not cranky before I even start reading your submission.

Just sayin’.

I quite often get submissions that reference the fact they didn’t want to make me cranky. That tells me they read the submission guidelines and makes me like them right off the bat. That puts me in a good mood before I read their submission, which makes me more likely to enjoy it. You don’t need to tell me you don’t want to make me cranky for me to know you’ve read the guidelines — following them tells me that.

I love people who follow the submission guidelines.

Just sayin’.

ETA: I had bad timing for posting this. I apologise. In response to a couple comments on my Facebook about this post I would just like to re-assure people this has nothing to do with reading for the new Niteblade anthology. It’s an ongoing issue not specific to the new anthology (which I haven’t started reading for yet).

I’m sick. When I’m sick I pretty much turn into a useless lump of self-pity. I try to force myself to continue to be productive and I can usually trudge through my day job stuff, but when I’m sick doing anything creative is nearly impossible. So, I’m falling behind. I am working on a collaborative project but I seem to have hit a wall on it, plus the story I wanted to write for the Trafficing in Magic / Magicing in Traffic anthology from Drollerie Press is fighting me with every word.

Plus, NaNoWriMo is creeping closer and the deadline for the new Niteblade anthology draws near as well, which means I’ll soon have a lot of submissions to read.

Yet, despite all this I wanted to blog. And I didn’t want to blog about something depressing like being sick (oops) so I decided to start a new ‘thing’ here called ‘I Shouldn’t Have To Tell You…’

When I am wearing my ‘editor’ hat and reading submissions for Niteblade I am often surprised by the things people do that I feel like I shouldn’t need to tell them not to. Obviously I won’t be sharing names or details, but I thought this could be both amusing and educational. Plus it’s something I can do on those days I want to blog but have nothing else to say.

So, the first thing I Shouldn’t Have To Tell You is:

I shouldn’t have to tell you to spell the name of the magazine right.

It’s also generally considered good form to spell the editor’s (my) name right too.