A while back I began giving away my novella, Lost and Found, on my blog a chapter at a time. One of the coolest things about that project (aside from the amazing cover illustration) was that Bill Ratner was recording each chapter in super high-quality audio format. Things happened though, and the audio bits fell a little behind, however, now, they are done!
You can now hear Lost and Found in its entirety as read by Bill Ratner.
If you haven’t listened to it, you need to. Seriously. Here, let me help–this is chapter one:
I have a rule against reading my own work after publication because it drives me crazy. I notice all the story’s imperfections, all the things I want to change, but it’s too late. The audio version of this story is a huge glaring exception to that rule. When I listen to Bill read my words I am filled with so much pride that it brings tears to my eyes. I don’t hear the individual words, the miss-placed commas or the things I could have done better, I just hear the story. And it’s a good story.
At some point I hope Lost and Found will be available in print and/or e-book versions, but in the meantime, I promie you won’t be wasting your time by listening to the audio version.
For the most part I have a fantastic life. I’m relatively healthy, I have friends and family who love me (and who I love), I’m able to spend my days doing what I love (writing and editing) and, ya know, overall things are pretty good. They aren’t perfect, of course, but they are pretty good. But it always seems like just when I’d really like a nice, quiet period in my life the most something happens to make sure I don’t get it.
My mom dying last month was… traumatic, to say the least. It was pretty sudden — she was doing well, and then suddenly she very much wasn’t. I’ve been working to come to terms with her loss and with all the circumstances around it, and I’ve been doing pretty well. I was down, of course, but grief is a funny thing — it comes at you in waves. I was able to get things done, still, to lead a more or less “normal” life. I kept busy, which helped, and thought “Hey, you know what would be a great idea? I’ll do NaNoWriMo and NovPad and get the December issue of Niteblade ready. No problem.”
Then life stepped up and said “Nu-uh. No you don’t.”
We have three cats. They are all awesome and all very different from one another. Indiana, Eowyn and Absinthe. Indiana is the cuddly one, Eowyn is the proud/bitchy one and Absinthe is the shit-disturber. On Friday we had to rush Indiana (you can see him in these pictures) to the animal hospital because he had an obstruction in his urethra. He was diagnosed with FLUTD (Feline lower urinary tract disease), admitted and catheterized under sedation. Before they performed the procedure they asked if we wanted to visit him to say goodbye. I couldn’t. Just the idea of visiting someone I loved in a hospital again after my Mom… I just couldn’t do it.
On Saturday, the hospital called to say there had been a complication in removing the catheter and Indy was going to require surgery to get it out. We consented to that. Very late on Sunday night he was released and we brought him home. When we went to pick him up at the animal hospital they brought him out in his (huge) cat carrier. I knelt down to see him and stuck my fingers through the bars. He rushed over from the back of the carrier and tried to bonk me through the bars, and when that didn’t work he just rubbed against my fingers as best he could with his cone of shame on. It made me cry. Jo and the receptionist pretended not to notice, because they are awesome.
Now he’s home, but the stress doesn’t stop. There’s money stress because stays in the animal hospital and emergency surgery are not cheap. We’re lucky in that we were able to pay for this without too much hardship, but if it becomes a recurring thing that may not remain true. What’s more, the urinary tract obstruction he had does tend to be a recurring thing, and if it happens and it’s not caught in time, it will kill him. Straight up. So we have to watch and make sure he’s not straining to pee or showing any of the other signs of obstruction.
But wait, there’s more! He has three medications to take; pain killers, antibiotics and antispasmodics. Happily Jo is all over keeping track of and dispensing that as it would break my brain. Seriously.
Indy also has a cone of shame on, and he can’t quite figure out how to eat or drink normally with it, so we are essentially hand-feeding him (or had been. We’ve recently decided to take the cone off when we are able to supervise him to make sure he’s not licking his incision, and hopefully he’ll feed himself). He’s not eating as much as we’d like (I think partly because of the cone and partly because he doesn’t like his new, expensive, prescription food). But he seems to be in good spirits and has lots of energy (in between painkiller doses, anyway), so I’m tentatively optimistic.
This is more than a little stressful on our other animals too. The other cats have to switch over to the same diet as Indy and they aren’t fans. Neither of them is eating as much as they should be. We can’t really feed them prescription kibble (which I think will help as they will be able to eat when they want, not just at mealtimes) at least until Indiana is out of his cone of shame (middle of next week) and able to drink enough water to make dry food a viable option for him. Even Tre’s (our dog) eating has to be altered because we can’t let him have hard food sitting in his bowl because Indy will steal it, eat it and obstruct again.
I freaking suck at ‘wait and see’ and this is one big-ass case of ‘wait and see’.
I’m not handling it very well. I’m the sort of stressed/depressed right now where all I want to do is sleep. That really isn’t good for NaNoWriMo, November Poem-a-Day, Niteblade, or, ya know, life.
I’m doing the best I can though, and I’m still writing. Not as much as I should be, and I’ve switched NaNo novels again to something that requires a little less thought than Hollow Children, but I’m writing. If Jay Lake can write through all the crap he’s been dealing with over the past five years, and all my friends on Team Thalia can write through the curve balls and hardships life throws their way, then I can write through this.
And besides, when I’m writing, when I’m actually in the middle of the action, then all this just goes away for a little bit. It’s only for a few minutes at a time, but I’ll take it. Oh yes, yes I will.
ETA: I spent the afternoon working on catching up on my NaNo project and I’m currently only about 2,500 words behind. Yay!
My contributor’s copy of issue #2 of The Scareald arrived in the mail yesterday.
I sold them a poem called “Character” which I wrote as part of last years November Poem a Day challenge and it’s in this issue. I hadn’t mentioned its publication before because the front page of the website hadn’t been updated to show issue #2, but since I have a copy sitting on my desk right now I can safely say it exists 😉 Anyway, I’m very pleased that “Character” could find a home with The Scareald 🙂
It was fun, yesterday, when it arrived. I opened the envelope and set the magazine down on the table while I peeled my address off the envelope before recycling. Danica, who had been doing her homework at the table, picked it up and was like “What’s this?” when the cheque slid out from inside the pages of the magazine.
“Neat trick,” she said and I found myself imagining her going around the house picking up books and magazines at random to see if money would slip out from between their pages. Would be pretty sweet if it worked that way, no?